By admin 
RALEIGH, N.C. (WNCN) — Olivia Dandridge never spoke a word, but she showed love in her own way.
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“She would get this huge smile on her face that would go to her eyes. Her whole cheeks would light up,” her mom recalled.
The little girl’s joy was so contagious that Olivia’s parents, Maris and Alex Dandridge, can’t help but smile through their grief when they talk about her.
“She’d just stare at you,” Marisa remembered. “She would laugh, and when she giggled, it lit up a room.”
Her mom and dad wish they could hear that giggle one more time. “We miss her a lot,” Alex said.
When Marisa was pregnant, the family learned that Olivia had an extremely rare genetic abnormality.
“It’s called an unbalanced translocation of her eighth and 22nd chromosomes, so it’s like having a red pen and a blue pen. You switch the caps. You still have two pens, but they don’t match,” her mom explained.
At the time, it wasn’t clear what life would look like for Olivia.
“She might be severely globally delayed. She might have physical abnormalities and not look like other children. She may never eat or talk or walk or hear or see,” her mom remembers hearing.
While some of those predictions held true, in many ways, Olivia defied the odds.
“She had delays with certain things, but she did it on her own time,” her dad noted.
“She did things that no one ever said she would do. She sat; she ate; she laughed. She scooted. She loved the bath. She loved her siblings. She was a mommy’s girl, and she was the best person that I know,” Marisa added.
Despite all of Olivia’s incredible accomplishments, medically she faced one complication after another. She relied on a feeding tube, and she struggled with seizures and serious illnesses that left her spending much of her six years in the hospital.
“People don’t realize how lonely it is to sit there and watch your child waste away,” Marisa said, tearfully. “It’s a special type of torture. You’re helpless.”
Through it all, though, the hospital became sort of a second home. Claire Gilbert, a pediatric nurse practitioner at WakeMed Children’s, works at the G-tube clinic. Olivia received nutrition through a G-tube, and Claire got to know her well over the years.
“Olivia was usually in a good mood when she was here. She was one of my easier patients because she was happy,” she recalled. “Olivia had something that we knew wasn’t going to be survivable, so we tried to make her life the best that we could.”
As Olivia’s body grew weaker, her family knew she needed to be in her own room with the people she loved most. They made the decision to bring her home on hospice, and although Olivia couldn’t speak or hear, she could feel the love surrounding her.
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“I was like, ‘You did a good job. I’m so proud of you. You’re so smart and so strong you make everyone so happy, but Mommy’s gonna miss you,’” Marisa remembers telling her daughter.
Olivia spent every moment with her family by her side; then, just days before Mother’s Day, her little body couldn’t fight anymore. She died in her father’s arms.
“I felt it. I felt my heart crack like the world shifted,” Marisa said of her daughter’s death. “There was like a before and after. I felt it.”
“All I remember is the feeling of having to let go when I just wanted her to stay,” she added, tears flowing. “People always think home is a place, but it’s not. It’s a person; I’m homesick for a person I will never see again.”
Olivia’s care team misses her too, but at WakeMed’s G-tube Clinic, Claire is grateful that, even in their grief, Olivia’s family is thinking of others. They donated her formula and supplies to the clinic.
“We can use that those supplies to help another family, and it’s not just helping the child, but it’s helping the parents have less of a stressor, so they can enjoy what time they have with their child no matter what that looks like for them,” she said.
Marisa and Alex donated Olivia’s other equipment as well, and they’re participating in a fundraiser to help others with disabilities. It’s a cause Olivia brought close to their hearts.
“I want people to stop viewing disabilities as a curse,” Marisa said. “Anyone can be disabled at any time.” They also hope to start a nonprofit of their own to provide medical equipment or pay medical bills for families with disabilities.
It doesn’t take money to make a difference, though. “When you see a disabled person, it costs you zero dollars to say hi,” Marisa noted. “Tell them how beautiful they are.”
Olivia’s life wasn’t easy; her loss was absolutely devastating. Still, her parents are grateful for the time they had.
“I would go back and I would do it again every single time, and I would never hesitate because for six years and 10 months and 29 days I was her mother,” Marisa said. “And even now, I am still her mother.”
Olivia changed her family’s perspective, and her parents will make sure her legacy lives on.
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“For the rest of our lives, Olivia’s name will be spoken, will never be forgotten,” Marisa said. “Everyone will remember my daughter, and everyone will remember that disabled children – disabled people – are people too.”
Fundraiser: Friday 9/18
On Friday, Sept. 18, there will be a fundraiser at Tidal Wave Auto Spa at 4725 New Bern Avenue in Raleigh. The profits from all sales that day will go to charity, including the nonprofit Hearts of Empowerment, which is partnering with the Dandridges.
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Charity Day runs from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. at Tidal Wave Auto Spa.